Archive for January, 2005
I’ve been really pressing to do Quiet Times lately (translation: needing to spend time reading the Bible and praying). I’m also reading a book called “The Art of Being” by various people and it is about appreciating yourself and being comfortable with who you are. While I was walking out of my house today after not getting a whole lot of sleep (aidan is cutting like a million teeth right now) I realized something; I like me.
I like who I am right now. I hit 30 a couple of years ago and passed into my fourth decade on the planet with barely any regrets and a lot of experiences. I like my taste in music and that I can do sound fairly well for an amatuer; heck, I like electronics of almost any sort. I like my house; in terms of newness it’s not great, but it’s got class and ability to update and make it ‘our own’.
I like my friends. Our two probably closest right now (to the family) are Randy and Amy and it’s fun to share our lives with them. They teach me about being sensitive to God’s leading and we can be vulnerable with each other. I meet regularly with Randy, Kent, Tyler, Joel, and Aarron; my geek squad. These are folk who I’ve known for various lengths and all of whom are committed geeks (sometimes in their own way) and I can be myself to. I have a friend Joel (who reads this actually :p) who I don’t see regularly, but every time we talk it’s like we’ve never been apart and I always feel richer for having spent time with him. Then there’s James; we have known each other for forever and yet I’ll never not feel connected to him at some level. We have friends in their 50′s (I think…they won’t tell me ) in Morton who we relish spending time with because they are just cool. There are many more (Lisa, Marcia, Adi, John, Aarron S. just to name the few). If I could name all the people that influence me in some way I wouldn’t have enough room, but hey I’ve only got so much space.
I like my experiences. I’ve written a thesis and have a Master’s degree; how cool is that? I’ve been to Ireland, I’ve seen U2 twice and my favorite thing to do for an evening is go up to Chicago and walk around until I can’t see straight and then eat Pizza.
I work at a really cool place. Sure, I don’t make the amount of money I proabably could (who really does?? People I know are usually older and have worries of themselves), but I’m really satisfied with my job and I enjoy what I do (and we get by). I get a chance to work with an organization (InterVarsity Christian fellowship) that has just high class people in it. All of which are not perfect, but beautiful in their own way.
Lastly (and most important) I love the wife God has given to me. She’s so beautiful. We’re not perfect, and neither of us are close to the looks of a model but Melissa has a beauty that is unparalelled and it comes through daily. Her heart for the broken, weak people of the world just is humbling. We can laugh together, cry together, and fight well (making up is the best part) and she’s a great mom. I couldn’t have asked for someone better.
Anyway, just feeling appreciative of the situation God has placed me in at this second.
Mathew 11:28-30 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for
I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my
yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
I wonder if I sometimes believe that. At least the way I behave suggests differently. I often will throw my arms around a task (such as fatherhood) with all the might and ‘experience’ that my limited 32 years on the planet can offer and fail miserably (or disappoint someone – often that person is me). I offer my eternal destiny to grace, but want too often to do earthly, more mundane things myself. My resolution for the year is to love and accept grace when it is given to me.
A lesson I learned a long time ago it seemed was that people can fail me and I need to love their failure. I think I need to love my failure too.
But ahh, to have it all together. Now there would be something to look forward to in the new year.
p.s. I have the best wife in the world. She beats blogging any day of the week.