Today was, in no uncertain terms, hellish – divingly so.  MJ is sick.  Aidan is better and so am I, and Aidan is in the habbit of waking up way before dawn now.  First some highlights of today’s coversation with Aidan:

On getting a snack:

“I want Cereal!  That’s NOT Cereal, that’s Cherrios!”

On apologizing after getting in trouble:

“I’m sorry” 

“Why are you sorry Aidan?”

“I’m sorry because I want you to be happy.  I love you daddy!”

On What he wants to be when he grows up:

“I want to be an astronaut and play music.”

Today was a battle of inches.  It started around 5:50 this morning with Aidan getting up to go potty and wanting to wake up for the day.  Melissa is sick and so I flew solo for most of the day.  During the midst of the day there were a ton of time outs, a couple of spankings and a few stern talks; we’re firm believers in a strata of discipline.  Tonight, I may have bit off more than I could chew in starting to get rid of his pacificer by cutting the tip of it down.  Needless to say, he isn’t going to be right away and notices things are a bit different.

Tonight I also thought about how God sees us.  While I was sitting with him, weary and sinking into despair about the length of my day I thought about how God sees us and about how, as a perfect God, how much he may get frustrated at our behavior and yet still loves us.  How some days as we try and learn lessons changing us becomes a battle of inches.  For Aidan, my ultimate goal is an individual who loves and respects authority and who does things with integrity.  For God, the ultimate goal is fitting us for heaven, in technical terms to sanctify us. 

Along the way there are huges lessons that are learned – learning to go potty, eating solid food, learning to read – but there are also days that are battles that gain only inches on the way to adulthood; the only results of which are tears, disciplines and sorrow at the end of the day. In these days, it’s important to think about the final product.

Days like today make me look at my father and God with tons more respect that had before today started.