I’ve passed a mile marker.
No longer on Likert scale items can I mark the 24-34 demographic. I’m in the next one.
I’ve been wanting to write this one well and it’s been brewing in my head for some time, and never being one to shirk from revealing my heart in my blog I think I finally have want I want to say down. Linford Deitweiler, part of Over the Rhine, wrote at length on turning the odd age of 35 here and I echo alot of what he said.
A friend of mine in insurance gave me the grave news that 35, statistically, is middle aged. Being the ace math genius I multiplied by two and discovered that he may be right…statistically. However, I think Deitweiler makes a point. The even grimmer reality is that today could be my last day on the planet, or tomorrow, or the next.
Craver, wrote a post (I can’t remember the exact link) about balloons and enjoying the moment.
It’s easy to dismiss this birthday as feeling a need to get a convertible, or grow long hair or pitifully seek some vestige of the illusion of youth. On the other hand, it’s not a sentence to throw away my CD collection, buy a van and start listening to Barry Manilow. O.k., so I’ve done one of those things…shutup!
However, I’ve found that this birthday has been really two things for me. It’s freed me to be less concerned about age and more concerned about identity. It may sound like a cop-out, but I’ve never felt more comfortable being me and understanding who I am and really being comfortable with my identity in Christ.
Truthfully, I’ve been dreading this barrier for a little while and it’s almost like ‘The Monster at the end of this book‘. I think that in my mind I was expecting seeing someone entirely different in the mirror in terms of values, goals, etc., a monster if you will. Like Grover, I’ve gotten here and realized that it is little ol me. I’ve realized that somehow God didn’t lie when he said he had my best interests in mind; that somehow I’m about where I want to be, doing about the right things and I’m about the business.
Speaking of, the second thing for this birthday for me has been a reafirmation of God’s will. I have told college students that during transitional phases that God’s will is like walking down a dark path and only being able to see 3 feet in front of their face. That being there is a good thing and that, as Bono said, ‘Uncertainty can be a guiding light’. I feel like right now we’re in one of those places; that I really don’t know what this time next year will look like functionally and that’s totally o.k. with me. The blunt, honest truth is that I’m happy to be doing God’s will for me right at the moment. I’m not sure where the next year is going to take us, but I’m happy to be right here now.
Finally, not in an effort to mix my metaphors, I’m reminded of a half time of a game. The second half is usually where anything can happen, where the game is still pretty much open and where people come out energized and ready to go. Down teams get a second chance, in close games opportunity abounds. Either way, the second half is about playing hard.